When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.