Joke #8495

Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.

Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.

Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.

After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".

"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.

Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.