Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
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Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris.
But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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