Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier.
In half.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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A Chuck Norris round house kick is considered the first "super-collider".
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