Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.