Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.