Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.