Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Time waits for no man.
Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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