Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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