Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris threw rocks into the ocean and named them Hawaii
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.