Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Two halves make a whole. Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.