Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
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On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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