Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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