The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
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