The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard.
When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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Chuck Norris is the meaning of life.
Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
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