If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.