If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris named his parents.
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