If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado...
When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
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Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc.
The Black and Blueray.
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