Joke #3739

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
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