Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.
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