Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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The pouch respects Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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