Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.