Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.