Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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