Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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