Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.