Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
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How did Stella get her groove back?
Permission from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris...
He is hunting them!
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