Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.