Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
I challenged Chuck Norris once. He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space. Now I read the facts from Mars.