Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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