Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral?
A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral.
The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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