Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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Extra Terrestrials often visit Earth from other galaxies - they're here to see if Chuck Norris really exists.
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can set the oven to cold.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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