Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas.
They made a deal.
Chuck now owns the shop.
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Chuck Norris's Blood Can't be matched...
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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