Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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