Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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Thomas Edson made a shadow on a paper that Chuck Norris was reading, then Thomas Edson decided to create the electric light.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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