Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
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