There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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