There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
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What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris?
His foot.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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