There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.