There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Death once got sentenced to Chuck Norris.
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