Joke #8739

Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.

Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.

When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.

There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face. He just looks at her and says, ”You don’t scare me I am married to your sister!”’

There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out. "YOU'RE DRUNK!" exclaimed the police officer. "Thank God for that!" said the drunk, "I thought the steering had gone."

The pouch respects Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.

Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.

I drank so much wine last night that when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.

The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.

Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm. He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing." The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck". The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"