Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Vote:
A cop pulls a guy over:
Sir, why were you speeeding?
Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Vote:
A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Vote:
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?"
Me: "Drunk"
Son: "What's mom gonna be?"
Me: "Mad"
A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in.
“Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.”
“Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket.
“Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”
So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him.
She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties.
“Why are there two twenties?” she asks.
The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote:
No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
Vote: