Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
Vote:
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
Vote:
Drunk guy gets pulled over.
Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him.
The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence."
So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
Vote:
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
Vote:
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder.
The drunk guy just ignores him.
After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down.
He notices that the alien has no genitalia.
He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?"
The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
A cop pulls a guy over:
Sir, why were you speeeding?
Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives....
"I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.."
"Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?"
"New York City..."
The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
Vote: