Joke #88

If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.

Chuck Norris can stop the music.

When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.

Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.

Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!