Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.