Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris crossed the road.
No one has ever dared question his motives.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
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If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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