Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... With a stick.
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The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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