Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
I challenged Chuck Norris once. He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space. Now I read the facts from Mars.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.