Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
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Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
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Nietzsche's book was originally called Also Sparch Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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