Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
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Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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