Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.