Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
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Thomas Edson made a shadow on a paper that Chuck Norris was reading, then Thomas Edson decided to create the electric light.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
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Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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