Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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