Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.