Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard. When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.