Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."