Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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People say that time heals all wounds.
They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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