Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.