Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.