The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.