The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.