Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.