Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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