Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.