Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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