When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World...
War.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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