When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.