When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude.
He has a personality you can't handle.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
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Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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