When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Chuck Norris is the meaning of life.
Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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