Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine.
Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past.
He has never made any mistakes.
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