Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over."
Those children were the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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