Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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