Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
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Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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