Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
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If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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