Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
For Chuck Norris... In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.