Joke #8144

A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars. These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.

The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."

Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck did enter the Dragon.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.

Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.

One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.

Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.