Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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The Matrix is a game on Chuck Norris' PS3.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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