Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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