Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.