Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch.
He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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