When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can. It's not much of a fight....
Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"