When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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To be or not to be?
That is the question.
The answer?
Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can.
It's not much of a fight....
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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