Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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