Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.