Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Some people like to eat frogs' legs.
Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs.
Hence, snakes.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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