Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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