Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
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Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.
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Chuck Norris is a hunter.
But Chuck Norris does not hunt.
That implies the possibility of failure.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
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