Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris can fall up.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese. At the same time in every sentence.
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.