Joke #9903

Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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