Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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