Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
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