A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.