A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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