A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also blow your face.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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