A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris made this sentence finish.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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