A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.