A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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