A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
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Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible.
He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.
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Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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