A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he entered a pool bombing competition.
This place now widely known as the Niagara Falls.
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