Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.