Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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