Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.