Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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It takes courage to say YES at the altar.
It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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