Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.