30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris made sick the healthy chocolate.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.