30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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