30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf. When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.