The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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