The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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