The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!