Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp... He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door? Too Late!
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".