Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp... He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
America doesn't need a military... We've got Chuck Norris
Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.