Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...
He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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