Chuck norris can control chaos.
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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WikiLeaks are just Chuck Norris' Thoughts.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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