When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.