When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.