When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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